


Unrequited

by RomanoffOrcrist



Category: The Lord of the Rings (Movies), The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: F/M, M/M, Post-War of the Ring, Self-Harm, Triggers, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-06-08 18:21:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 16,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6868288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RomanoffOrcrist/pseuds/RomanoffOrcrist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Legolas loves Aragorn. After the War of the Ring, Aragorn marries Arwen, leaving Legolas alone with a broken heart. Will it be able to heal, or will he give into the pain of Unrequited Love?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It is After the Victory of the War of the Ring. The whole world is rejoicing, except for Legolas. He is suffering from a broken heart. He returns to his home of Mirkwood, hoping things might return to normal...

Legolas felt lost. Without the threat of Evil it was unnecessary to patrol the forests, especially given the fact that many of the trees had burned in the battle that had taken place during the War of the Ring, further weighing down on Legolas' heart. Many of Elves were planning to leave for Valinor, emptying the walls of the Woodland Realm, adding to the emptiness within Legolas. The sudden detachment from his friends and the Fellowship also added strain and confusion to him. His life felt meaningless.  
He hid his doubts from his father, not wanting to appear weak to him, nor bother him. Legolas felt he was unimportant and unworthy of Thranduil's time and worry. Tauriel was still important to Legolas, but he was caught in the whirlwind of stress, confusion, and depression, and Tauriel alone could not free him from it. Legolas had acquired a new habit of traipsing through the woods, fully armed and armored, prepared for battle. The scorched trees did little to lighten his heart, and the absence of attackers reminded him of how empty his life was. 

He returned to the Halls, disheartened and frustrated. Tauriel tried to intercept him but he brushed past her and into his room. He tossed off his weapons and removed his armor. He spun around looking for something to occupy his dark, drowning thoughts. He pulled out a fresh tunic and set about getting ready for dinner.  
His imagination jeered at him, showing him what he presumed his companions to be doing, digging into his wounds that he lived a lonely life. He pictured the Hobbits, merrily feasting at some tavern, dancing on the tables and drinking mugs of ale. He imagined Gandalf wandering cheerily, whistling an odd tune and smoking from his pipe. He saw Gimli laughing with a group of Dwarves in the Glittering Caves. Images of Éomer, Éowyn, and Faramir, toasting to Éowyn and Faramir's upcoming wedding. But worst of all was Aragorn, happily wed to Arwen Undomiel, the Evenstar, the fairest of her people. Aragorn, completely content, never missing Legolas. The crown, fit surely on his head, representing a new era, an era without Legolas...  
Legolas jumped as his door was flung opened.

"Legolas! Why did you not answer?" Tauriel demanded.

It took a moment for the scene to sink in, "I-I'm sorry, I...I was...lost in my thoughts."

"Those must have been some deep thoughts! I'm sure they could have heard me calling for you all the way in Gondor!"

Legolas grimaced at her mention of Gondor. It drew him back to what had captivated his mind before Tauriel had barged in.

"Legolas, what's wrong?" Tauriel stared into his eyes.

"Nothing," Legolas turned away and continued braiding his hair. He did not wish to speak with her. He wished she would leave him.

"Legolas, something is wrong. You haven't been the same since you've returned. Tell me whatever, no matter how small." Tauriel implored.

"Tis merely the war," Legolas complied.

Tauriel sighed, "What more than that? Talk to me! What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Legolas insisted. She did not understand. What it take to pacify her inquiries?

"I know that tone. You're holding something in. If not just from me but yourself as well. I'm here Legolas. Don't do this too yourself!"

"You wouldn't understand," Legolas kicked himself as soon as the words left his mouth. He had basically admitted that something was bothering him and now Tauriel would not stop until she discovered what it was.

"Maybe I will. Still, I'll listen."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"If not to me than somebody else? Your Father? Elladan and Elrohir......."

Legolas said no to every suggestion she had. Never would he reveal his weakness to his father! And he honestly never desired to see the twin sons of Elrond again for they reminded him too much of their sister, their sister who stole Aragorn away from him with her looks alone. The pain must have shown on his face, for Tauriel looked more concerned.

"Legolas..." Tauriel began tentatively, "Did you lose somebody?"

Yes. "No."

Not in life but in heart. Perhaps he could handle it better if Aragorn had fallen, at least Legolas could have accepted his fate without Aragorn, without the cruelty of rejection. Legolas chastised himself. How could he think that? How heartless was he to wish ill on Aragorn so that he might not suffer denial. How would it be any less painful if Aragorn's very life had been stolen from him, for him to watch the Ranger's soul depart while he held him in his arms? To feel his last breath and know he would never see him again. He must truly be morbid to welcome such happenings.

"Legolas?" Tauriel prodded.

Legolas sighed. He supposed he would give her the weakest story possible to get her off his case.

"I just don't know what to do," He started honestly, "All my life I've been a warrior, now I don't know what to do."

While the words he spoke were true, they barely even amounted to much in his turmoil.

"Really? I've been feeling the same way!" Tauriel exclaimed.

Legolas smiled weakly at her. At least she thought that was his problem.

"Well get through it together!" Tauriel promised, clasping Legolas' hand.

He tried to reassure her with a fake smile before busying himself with his hair. Tauriel rattled on about daily sparring, and scouting and other suggestions to fill the warrior's void. Legolas did his best to acknowledge her, even though he barely listened. If only it were that simple.

 

Around Tauriel, he knew he could loosen up, he always had. But in Thranduil's presence he consciously insured he was on top behavior, aware of his father's scrutiny, knowing nothing escaped the Elfking. He could afford no lapses. Luckily Legolas was stoic, concealing his emotions, as was conditioned in him as both a warrior and a prince, therefore it would not be strange for him to be withdrawn. However a leak of emotion might raise a flag. Legolas tried to erase any pain from his face. He took his seat beside Thranduil at the dinner table. Tauriel was seated nearby. Legolas was not hungry, so at first he poked at his food, but was grateful when his father asked him a question. Although he had to perform cleanly as his old self, it allow reason for him to not touch his food. He was surprised how easily he flowed into a natural conversation, how the pain seemed absent in these halls where the memories of the times before the Ring were filled. Being here, he could almost forget. But not entirely. Although intentionally not focusing on it, whenever speech lulled, he would wonder at the ache he felt within. Instantaneously he would remember his pain. Why did he feel so empty inside? His father and Tauriel were the most joyous he had ever see them. Nobody bore the stress of duty nor the threat of attack. Despite the terrible losses of life and the destruction to the forest, the entire air within the Woodland Realm was lighter than it had been before he left. A dark thought poisoned his mind. What if it was because he left that they were looser. Perhaps they were glad for his absence. A conflicting voice in his head told him that everybody seemed pleased and relieved at his safe return. He knew not what to believe. Tauriel was finished eating, so Legolas politely excused himself, taking his untouched plate of food to return to the kitchen. Tauriel got up as well.

"Would you like to go sparring?" Tauriel offered.

He knew he should, both to convince Tauriel that was all that bothered him, and for his mind and body, but his heart was not in it.

"I'll need to go change," Was his simple reply.

"Meet me on the field then."

Legolas closed the door to his room with a sigh. He pulled out his warrior jerkin. He glared at himself in the mirror. Pathetic. He needed to stop letting this control him! Weakling. A true warrior does not let emotions control him. Perhaps he was not a true warrior. The inner dialogue continued within him. He tried to push himself, then another part of him reasoned that he was no better than this. Tauriel was waiting. He set his jaw determinedly and gave himself a confident expression. He would go fight away the pain. He grabbed his weapons and joined Tauriel out on the training ground. The area was bare from where the trees had been burned from the battle.

"It looks so different," Legolas remarked, a more sturdy version of himself.

"Yes. I'm sure it doesn't help," Tauriel sympathized.

Legolas' appreciative replying smile was much more convincing than earlier. He held himself with the stature of a prince.

"Shall we begin?" He inquired.


	2. Chapter 2

The view from the treetop was stunning. One could almost see to the edges of Arda. The broken and charred wood cleared a larger view towards the Mountains in one direction and Erebor in the other. Legolas careful not to face the south during his sweep. He could see Lothlorien from his perch. He had oft sat here in times of old and gazed to different lands, curious about them, and wanting to travel.   
Now he had been almost everywhere and no longer wanted to be even in his own land. It had changed too much. It did not feel like home. He had not been quite everywhere though. He had never been to the Shire, and he and Gimli made promises to each other to journey to the Glittering Caves and to further explore Fangorn. The thought of the Dwarf brought a smile to his face. Ah Gimli, how he missed him. Legolas pondered how his father would feel about his friendship with a Dwarf. He had a companion, and they had unfulfilled pledges. 

 

Routine had made up much of Legolas' life. At a young age he had studies he had to attended as well as learning proper behavior for a Prince. When he got older weapons training had been added, as well as matters of state. Once he had learned everything from the Woodland's sparse library, his days were filled with intense combat training and standing by his father to observe to procedures of the court. When he got skilled enough with his blades and bow, Legolas was able to join the Guard, his life dream. Every day he would patrol the forest with the other warriors. This was his routine for hundreds of years, the only thing that ever changed was his rank and his skill. Now things were similar, but never the same. Now he patrolled the forest alone, early in the morning.   
After being disappointed that the walk among the trees did nothing for his spirit except enhance his loneliness, he would return to his father and hope he has a task for him. Legolas would often practice his archery at the range, although it quickly bored him. In the evenings though, he would spar with Tauriel. With daggers, sometimes with swords, or they would merely use their hands. Legolas always triumphed due to his thousands of years on her, but she still enjoyed it. He did not like it that he won every time. He wanted a challenge. Tauriel was a tough warrior, and he had to work very hard to beat her, but he wanted somebody he was not sure if he could beat. Somebody like Aragorn. Their two different fighting styles made for an interesting contest. Legolas could usually best the man, who was even younger than Tauriel, but the Ranger would throw in a move that caught him off guard, and was able to recover and win. He had enjoyed himself too. It was a carefree part of his life, away from the troubles of Mirkwood, and beaming with the brightness of his joyful soul.   
Tauriel was one of his closest friends, but his time with her was always shadowed by the threat and doubt that hung over Mirkwood. Tauriel enjoyed sparring with him. Her face lit up and she laughed even when Legolas won.

"How about this time you have one dagger verses my two?" Tauriel proposed. 

Legolas shrugged. "Sure," he agreed. He returned one to his quiver and prepared to fight. Tauriel attacked first, quickly twisting her blades. Legolas swiftly parried with his single knife. He pushed one of her knives upwards and swiftly jumped back as she swung towards his waist with the other. He jumped to the outer side of the arm that had just attacked moved his knife towards her vulnerable side. Tauriel reversed her arm swing and nearly caught Legolas in the head, but he ducked and spun around only to face her other blade, which he quickly batted away with his own. He rose and swung towards her throat, to which she met with both blades upraised. Legolas kicked her leg, but she spun around and attacked him while facing away. Legolas easily evaded the blows, but Tauriel was a fury of movements. He raised one blade up to met hers and captured her wrist in his hand. Whilst he was concentrating on his grip Tauriel twisted her blade loose from his pick and simultaneously kicked him in the gut. She also swung the back of her dagger against his hand that held her wrist up. He released her hand and fell back from her kick. She crouched down and held her daggers to his throat with a smirk. To all appearances she had won. But he had learned much from Aragorn. Legolas swung his dagger in a broad circle in front of her face, to confuse her with his motion, and rolled himself up the other way. In her surprise he had escaped and now stood behind her with his dagger to Tauriel's throat. 

"Seriously!?" She demanded good-naturedly. 

Legolas smiled sadly. Using Aragorn's trick brought bittersweet feelings. At the time Aragorn had used it on him he had felt elation, laughing at Aragorn's cleverness as the Ranger held Legolas's own dagger against him. But it burned deep within him that these times were over and the pain resurfaced. 

Legolas returned to his quarters and prepared for bed, as he had done every day since his return, except he never slept. He had never slept during the quest of the Ring, being an Elf he did not need it like the others. But at home, he could merely not find peace. He sat on the balcony to his room and stared at the stars with an emptiness. He could have easily been looking at a pile of rock and he would have felt not different. Legolas closed his eyes and tried to feel nature around him, but the air was eerily still, not a single gust blew through Eryn Lasgalen.   
The woods were completely quiet. He could hear no sound with his keen hearing. Nothing stirred. He could see nothing moving outside. Everything was lifeless. Even inside the caves of Mirkwood not a sound could be heard. It agitated his nerves and was destructive in his quest for peace. What was wrong with him? None of the beauty of nature appealed to him. He felt lifeless inside. He returned to his room and lay on the bed. The mattress and pillow held no bliss, and the blankets were not comforting. He knew he touched them but he could not feel it. Everything was barren.

What was wrong with him? He was not tired, but desperately needed sleep to escape this complete inanimateness he was existing in. No thoughts or musings occurred in his mind. He was simply a shell, able to observe the hollowness of his surroundings. Legolas pulled from his memory a song his mother used to sing to him, and he began to sing it softly.


	3. Chapter 3

Darkness surrounded him. Images and memories of Aragorn were thrust at him. Him and Aragorn, then Aragorn would abandon him for Arwen. The scene replayed over and over, only it was different times. He was invisible. Like a shadow. He was a ghost. Aragorn was so happy without him. Aragorn never even noticed, never even cared what he had sacrificed! The images taunted him, waving it in front of him what he could not have. Dumping salt in his wounds.   
He could feel the Evenstar pendant within his fingers. He held it before Aragorn, then jerked it back. He enclosed his hand around it. He squeezed it tight, the jewel and silver tore into his skin. The necklace shattered, sending shards in every direction. Aragorn fell to his knees clutching his chest. Blood poured from wounds where the shards had pierced through and struck deep within. Aragorn looked up accusatorially at Legolas. Legolas was falling. 

He sprung up with a start. This was why he did not sleep! So it had come to him? He could not remember drifting off into slumber. His mother's songs apparently worked, but they could not stave off the horrors of his dreams. Legolas drug himself from the bed, wearied from the dream, although relieved to feel something even if it was pain. He slipped on a comfortable tunic, leggings, and his boots, then pulled his hair back and tied it simply. He strapped a small knife to his belt before leaving his room and walking to the library. There he pulled out several books and sat himself in a cozy corner and poured over the lore. He read through tales of glorious battle and valiant deeds. He read through books of songs and poems. He read the books his mother had read to him when he was young. He was lost to reality and plunged into worlds of old, where his imagination illustrated the words he read. Suddenly, an icy touch on his shoulder nearly sent him out of his skin. His father was standing above him. 

"I have to say, I never would have thought I would have found you here," The Elvenking remarked.

"I visit the libraries frequently in Imladris," Legolas retorted. After the words came out he was confused by his malice. Why did it matter? He never read books at home. 

"I'm sure, because they bore you in the valley," Thranduil retorted.   
His words twisted the proverbial blade deeper within Legolas. Yes, because Aragorn was occupied with Arwen.

"You missed supper."

Legolas blinked in surprise, he had no idea he had been gone so long. 

"I assume you've had nothing else to eat today?"

Legolas shrugged, "I'm used to it."

"It's unlike you," Thranduil remarked, "to not go outside in the woods, to dress so casually," he reached up and touched Legolas' hair, "to not braid your hair."

Legolas jerked his head away, "What does it matter?"

"It doesn't matter except it's unlike you. Is something wrong?"

Great, now his father was onto him. Had Tauriel told him something? No, if she had Thranduil would believe it was merely warrior's withdraw as he led Tauriel to believe.   
"I just feel like it, okay?!" Legolas exclaimed. He instantly chastised himself for his outburst; it would certainly raise alerts. He took a deep breath before gathering his thoughts.  
"There's no war, no threats, there's no reason for me to do otherwise," He clarified, giving a reason as to not make Thranduil suspicious. 

"I understand. It is merely strange for you, tis all." Thranduil rose, "You should eat something."

Part of him wanted to. Something within wanted to ask his father to bring him some food and stay with him. To sit and read with him, like when Legolas was a child. But he easily brushed it away. The King of Eryn Lasgalen should not be bothered with such juvenile matters. Legolas would not be a burden to him. 

 

An eastern wind blew. It weaved its way around the trees, gently rustling the leaves. A pale moon smiled down from a starlit sky. Legolas sat on his balcony rail, the wind brushing through his hair. It chilled him despite the Elves gift of indifference to temperature. It was a novel sensation, being cold. He could always before, recognize coldness by contact, or feel the warmth of something, but it never affected him. He wrapped himself with a thin, soft blanket.   
The wind was blowing from the west. From the sea. He could taste the salt in the air. If he closed his eyes he could hear the sea gulls cry. He could remember the sound as he had heard it when he had traveled with Aragorn and Gimli on the black ships up the Anduin, calling to him. The sea. Its alluring blue waves and white shores. The times had been laced with war and companionship thus the call had not influenced him.   
Now everything was crashing down like a giant wave. How he wished the water would wash him out away to its home. Home. Home to Valinor. Home to his mother and others who had gone before him. They were waiting. He felt a salty drop slide down his face. His heart yearned for them. It no longer felt at home on these shores. No land could house him but Valinor. He sung out lyrics to a spontaneous melody that was his own composing. A song about the sea. The words and tune soothed him. He drifted off to the land of his song.


	4. Chapter 4

He stood on the white sand. He could hear the rhythmic sound as the waves rolled up against the beach. He could feel the warm salty breeze caress his face and run its gentle fingers through his hair. The sun cast a golden tinge over the rich blue water. Sea gulls swooped down and called out their sweet song. A gray ship sat at the dock.   
Legolas turned. Behind him stood a mournful Gimli. His knew his dearest friend understood him, understood why he had to do this. It would hurt him, but Legolas knew he understood. He offered him a smile. He turned and walked down the dock. He got into the boat. It started away. He turned back to see Gimli staring after him. The assurance in his eyes gave Legolas the freedom he needed to go on. Legolas could see that it hurt. It hurt him too. Tears dripped down his face. It was bittersweet, for he was going home!   
He gazed once more to the shore. He was paralyzed with shock at what he saw. Aragorn was at the edge, calling out for him. Reaching. He clearly did not understand. Gimli had vanished.   
Legolas was torn. This was the reason why he was leaving: to escape this! But Aragorn was calling him back. Suddenly Arwen was beside him too, begging Legolas to return. So Aragorn truly had no idea? He could not do this! But he had already started, he was on his way. He could see faint figures behind Arwen and Aragorn. Gimli, Tauriel, and Thranduil, all grieving, all in pain with silent acceptance of his decision. From the other direction the joyful spirits of those in the Undying Lands called to him. His mother. He had not seen her since he was young. He was on his way to her!   
But Aragorn's anguished call brought him back, as it echoed across the water. His bewildered and confused expression told Legolas that the King of Gondor had no idea why he was leaving. Why he strongly desired to reach Valinor. He would not do this to Aragorn. He would not treat him as he had been treated. The sea gulls screeched in his ears. 

Legolas' eyes snapped open. He found his deep yearning for the sea was nearly quieted. He did not want to leave everybody behind. He wanted to be there for Aragorn, but it hurt too much. 

It was still dark out. He had fallen asleep on his balcony wrapped in a blanket. He looked up to the stars. A bright one winked at him; he knew it was his mother's soul. She was waiting, but he knew she could wait awhile longer.

 

As the moon was disappearing, Legolas pulled himself to his feet. He quickly threw on a hunting tunic, leggings and his boots. He braided his hair with swift fingers, strapped on his weapons and dashed outside. He ran through the forest, feeling the wind brush against his face and through his hair. He climbed up his favorite tree and faced the east. He sat for several minutes before the sun's rays started peeking up over the horizon. Its brilliant light streaked the sky with reds and pinks that blended with the deep dark blue of the night sky. As the sun ascended to its throne it showered the land with a glorious gold light. The sunrise was truly magnificent that morning. Legolas felt refreshed. He faced the east, casting away his westward sea desire. The beauty of the sun brightened his spirit. He could do this. 

He stayed as long as he could until the sky had adjusted to the sun's reign. Legolas returned to the kingdom to carry out whatever duties his father could find for him. When he returned to the Kingdom a guard rushed up to him.

"Your father requests your presence."

"Thank you," Legolas briskly walked to the throne room. 

 

"Yes father?"

"Legolas!" Thranduil rose and walked down the steps that lead to his extravagant throne. 

"A party of Rivendell Elves are coming."

Legolas' heart dropped. It took him a brief moment to compose himself. He hoped it had not shown on his face. 

"Be dressed appropriately, and be there to greet them," Thranduil instructed kindly. 

"Yes, father," Legolas blindly rushed out of the room and to his quarters. This could not be happening! Any time Rivendell Elves over came to Mirkwood was when either Lord Elrond, or the twins, or all three came. Any of the three were a painful reminder of Arwen and a trigger to his negative feelings. He growled. He had just gotten to a high point, now their presence was going to bring him down! He glared at himself in his mirror. 

"Pathatic!" He chastised, "Can't handle your own friends?"

He questioned himself. Are they his friends?

"Fool! Do not dishonor your father so with your weakling behavior!"

Legolas ripped out the braids he had hastily done that morning.  
The sons of Elrond or Elrond himself would remind him of Arwen, thus reminding him of Aragorn. 

"Act like a Prince!" He hissed to himself. He fixed his hair in a more regal fashion, and put on a silver tunic, but kept his hunting boots and leggings. He strapped a knife to his belt and checked over himself. 

"You look like melting ice! Composure!"

It was amazing how quickly his day could turn sour.

"They probably won't even be there! Such a weakling to let the mere thought of somebody's presence ruin your day!"

"You try to deal with what I have!" Legolas retorted to the mirror. He was yelling, not at his own negative thoughts, but to those that his subconscious told him would think of him such as he viewed himself. Probably no one would notice. He hoped not. He knew he looked terrible. His eyes were dead, and his posture lacked his previous confidence of being a warrior and a prince. He stood tall and forced a smile, hoping no one would see past his defenses. 

He joined his father as they stood to greet the arriving Elves. He felt small standing beside his father. His father was always exuberantly dressed, but was not because of his wardrobe that he felt this way, for when Legolas wore similar attire -on Thranduil's demand of course- he still felt stunted standing beside him. The Elvenking had a demanding and strong presence. He held himself tall, with the poise of a true high Elf. His stature sent the clear message that he was not to be trifled with. He was not dark, but strong.  
Legolas took in a deep breath as the Elves entered. His heart sank when he saw Elrond enter.


	5. Chapter 5

"Greetings Elrond," Thranduil bid. 

It took Legolas a moment before he rushed through the customary Elven greeting of extending his hand outward from his chest.

"King Thranduil!" Elrond hailed.  
"Prince Legolas," He nodded towards Legolas.

Legolas gave a swift nod in response but Elrond had already turned back to Thranduil. 

Legolas' gut twisted when saw both Elladan and Elrohir enter. Both of them bore Arwen's image so closely. It was not that alone that surfaced his pain, but the mere association of them and Arwen and Aragorn.

The twins rushed to him, simultaneously enveloping him in a hug.

"Legolas!"

"Greetings," Legolas grunted out weakly, given the fact that they were both squeezing the air out of him, and his low enthusiasm. 

"How are you?" They asked. 

"I am well," Legolas lied smoothly. Simple responses such as that   
were easy to lie about. "What about yourselves?"

"We are good. We are finally returning home from Arwen's wedding."

Legolas felt a sharp pang in his chest. He forced a smile.  
"So you stayed a while?" He asked although it was the answer was obvious. 

"Yes, we will hardly be able to see out dear sister nor Estel for some time."

"Come, I will take you to the dinning hall," Legolas offered. 

"You know us too well!"

 

Legolas led the way along the twisting paths of the Woodland Realm. It was not mealtime, but there was a small selection of food available for the Elven guests.   
Legolas tried to be a good host to his friends. It was not their fault that they reminded him of Arwen and Aragorn. He sat across from the twins while they ate, but he himself got no food, for had no appetite. He had gotten away without eating since his return. Come to think of it, he had not eaten the entire time during the quest, save a small taste of Lembas. The last he had eaten was when he had arrived at Rivendell with news of Gollum's escape. He was not sure that counted though, for the Elves of Imladris only eat greens. No, the last real meal he had eaten was the night of Gollum's escape, which was over a year ago. Being an Elf, he did not require nourishment as often as mortals do, but he was certain his father, and even Tauriel would be very concerned. That was why he kept it to himself. 

 

"How long do you plan to stay?" Legolas queried, hoping his tone was light and kind. 

"I am not sure what father has planned," Elladan answered. 

"Hopefully our stay will be long so we can spend time with you!" Elrohir added. 

"All of our recent encounters with you have been cut short," Elladan agreed.

Legolas grimaced inwardly. Hopefully they would leave soon. They were very dear to him, but their presence was bringing too much pain. 

"Aren't you going to eat something?" Elrohir inquired. 

Legolas forced a short laugh, "No, it is not mealtime yet!"

"That doesn't stop us!" Elladan grinned impishly. 

Legolas did his best to match their jovial expressions. 

"Legolas, what's wrong?"

He froze at Elrohir's question. They cannot know!  
"What do you mean?" He questioned lightly. 

"You seem down," Elladan supplied. 

"I don't really..." Legolas trailed off. 

"Is it the forest? We were all so sad when we saw what had happened to it! I'm sure you must be devastated!" Elrohir questioned. 

That was just the outer shell. "Yes," Legolas agreed. "I suppose I had not noticed it's affect on me," He lied. 

"We're so sorry! We heard they fought valiantly here!" Elladan offered. 

"Thank you," Legolas responded, subdued. "Come I will show you around."

 

Legolas took them out of the dinning hall when he caught sight of Tauriel's brilliantly firey hair. With the twins in tow, he rushed to her.

"Tauriel!" He called as he neared. 

She turned, "Legolas."

"This is the Captain of the guard, and my friend, Tauriel. And Tauriel, these are the infamous Elladan and Elrohir," Legolas introduced. 

Tauriel smirked, "The terrors of Rivendell."

The twins obviously feigned a look of appall, "He obviously has been telling you false things about us!"

"You would accuse my Lord of deceit and lying?!" Tauriel demanded protectively. 

The twins looked truly terrified at Tauriel's threatening stare. 

Then she cracked a smile. "I jest, but still, I doubt anything can convince me otherwise, for he has no reason to lie."

"Yes," Legolas agreed, "Why would so many people have a reason to lie about you?" He queried with a smile. 

"Everybody's against us!" Elrohir threw his hands up in the air. 

"I wonder why," Legolas smirked. He was starting to enjoy himself. 

"Where were you going to take us?" Elladan questioned. 

"Nowhere particular, why?" Legolas questioned. 

"Perhaps we could all..." Elladan gestured to Tauriel as well as himself, his brother and Legolas, "go shooting or duel in your training grounds?"

Legolas turned his head towards Tauriel in question. 

"I will have to retrieve my weapons," She replied. 

"Will you get mine as well please?" Legolas requested. 

"Certainly," Tauriel gave a smile before leaving.

Legolas turned to lead the way to the shooting range.

Elrohir elbowed him good-naturedly, "Your *friend*, hm?"

"Yes, she is my friend," Legolas affirmed.

"Nothing more???" Elladan prodded. 

Legolas understood what they were implying. Of course they were nothing more! Tauriel was in love with a dwarf whom had died at the Battle of the Five Armies. For himself, his heart belonged with Aragorn. But he knew not whether to play it as though they were more than friends, to throw the twins off his trail and keep them from discovering his true feelings. But they would never find out. Plus he was tired of lying. They would not believe the truth about Tauriel anyway.   
"No. You know Tauriel - I've talked about her before! You know I'm not interested in her. We're no more than friends."

"How can you not be interested in *her*?" Elladan questioned. 

Legolas could read in Elladan's eyes his attraction to her.   
"Well, I'm not, so you can try for her."

Elladan tried to hide his surprise but Elrohir nudged him with a grin.  
"Just know she won't take your nonsense, and if anything happens to her, you have to answer to me! Both of you!" Legolas threatened. 

Elladan started getting giddy and chatty and Elrohir fed off that. 

Legolas figured Tauriel would not go for either of them, but he still held on to the hope that after all these years, she might find someone. Although now he understood why she would not. Although she had hardly known the dwarf, Kili, to truly be in love with him, she had known him for long enough to be attracted to him and have a connection with him. Then to have him die in front of her, saving her, really kept him close to her. She had not known him for long enough to know everything about him, to discover what bothered her about him, he had died the perfect image she had become infatuated with. But everyone knew he was not her true love, for she had not faded. Legolas was never one to sneer and say their love was stupid and that it was nothing, for he knew there was a connection between them, nor was he one to say their love was true as his father had, for he knew they had not known each other long enough for it to become that. Nothing was to say that if Kili had survived, him and Tauriel might have ended up together. But bygones were bygones, and Kili was dead, and Tauriel believed him to be her one, but she lived on. He actions reflecting none of the sorrow she held, but her face was hardened from loss and her eyes held memories. 

Legolas felt slightly guilty for leading them on, but his heart was chilled, 'It's nothing I haven't had to deal with! It will let them know just some of my pain!'   
He knew his thoughts were cruel, but he justified his actions by telling himself that Elladan would get over it as he always did. The Noldor twins had a reputation for pursuing many ladies only to have the relationship not work out. Either the poor girl grew weary of constantly getting the two confused, or one of the twins would call it off if the other twin was lonely. They were two parts of one whole. Legolas was convinced they needed to find two girl twins to court, but they had yet to. 

Tauriel arrived and Elladan got a ridiculous smile on his face. Legolas smirked to himself, knowing Tauriel would never go for Elladan. She went straight to Legolas and handed him his bow, quiver and daggers. 

"Thank you," He murmured. 

"That is a nice bow," She commented in a low voice. 

"Yes, it is. It is a Galadrihim bow, strung with the very hair of the Lady Galadriel."

Her eyes widened, "That is quite an honor!"

"Yes," Legolas replied. 

He could not help but smirk to himself, for he was sure this quiet moment with Tauriel was making Elladan jealous. He and the twins were constantly at war, pranking and making fun of each other, but Legolas knew this was different. He could feel the unusual malice within him, driving him to act as he did. He could not explain why he felt like this. There was no mirth in his antics, just cruelness.   
Tauriel saved him from the whirlpool of his mind by asking, "So what are we going to do? Sparring or archery?"

"Sparring!" The twins answered in unison. 

"Hm..." Legolas drew out, walking behind them. "Could that be so you can be close to Tauriel?" He whispered icily in Elladan's ear. "Or because you're afraid of getting beaten by Mirkwood's finest archers!" Legolas challenged. His tone was cold, a tone he often used when teasing them, but his words were spoken with true accost.

"Middle-earth's best!" Tauriel added, "Legolas is the best in all of Middle-earth!"

"Well..." Legolas started but Elladan interrupted, saying to Tauriel, "Shouldn't that be, 'Prince Legolas'?"

"Shouldn't you not interrupt 'Prince Legolas' when he's speaking?" Tauriel bit back. 

Legolas grinned with twisted enjoyment of their exchange. 

"Elladan was just joking," Elrohir defended, "A bad joke though."

Elladan elbowed his brother at that. Tauriel merely glared at them. Legolas could not tell if she was serious or teasing, but he found that he hoped it was the former.

"Well," Elrohir cleared his thoat, "Are we going to start?"

"Swords or knives?" Elladan asked.   
"I will be using my knives," Tauriel supplied.

"Legolas, would you sword-fight with me?" Elrohir requested. 

Perceiving a ploy to get Elladan and Tauriel together, Legolas stared holes into Elrohir's eyes.

The son of Elrond apparently read the look but replied with a dead serious voice, "I want to talk to you."

Legolas froze. He knows! How does he know? What do I tell him?

"Legolas?" Elrohir's voice broke into his thoughts, "What is it?"

Legolas plastered a smile on his face, "I was merely contemplating on which to sword to use in our challenge."

"Yes, I know how much you struggle with that ever since Orcrist," Elrohir replied with a less than convinced tone.

"Yes," Legolas replied in a melancholy tone, for Orcrist was the best weapon he had ever laid eyes upon. 

Tauriel returned to the field, although Legolas had not known she had left. She had gone to retrieve knives for Elladan. She tossed a sword to Legolas. Elrohir pulled out his blade and held it up in a ready stance. Legolas brought he sword to met it. They began exchanging blows. Elrohir moved with an automatic, reflexive nature, while Legolas gracefully reacted to the movements. With every swing he wished for Orcrist. The beautiful Elven blade had been in his possession for a only few days, before it was buried with Thorin Oakenshield following the Battle of the Five Armies. It was an elegantly balanced weapon, and every sword he held since seemed almost crude by comparison. 

He and Elrohir fell into a rhythm of sorts, when Elrohir asked, "What's wrong Legolas? I can tell something's bothering you."

Legolas's sword slipped against the deflect, but Elrohir's experienced hand pulled his sword back and moved for another easily parried blow. 

"I told you guys earlier, 'tis the aftermath of the war," Legolas spun around, bring his sword from a defensive position to a flowing attack against Elrohir, who skillfully raised his sword to block.  
"My home is destroyed and my friends are dead," Legolas added bitterly, knowing Rivendell had not suffered during the war. 

"We lost friends too," Elrohir offered his compassion. 

"Perhaps, but your home is the same haven it always was!" Legolas bit.

"What is wrong Legolas?" Elrohir prodded again, following Legolas' harsh response. 

Legolas sighed, swinging his sword around for another strike. This reminded him of Aragorn. The countless times they would spar with each other. The man's dark curly hair plastered to his face. Sweat dripping down. A determined yet light expression. Their fluid dance of parries. 

"Legolas?!"

Legolas raised his sword just in time to save his face from Elrohir's blade. 

Elrohir pulled his sword back and held it down at his side, "Where were you?"

Legolas sighed, "Somewhere better."   
His arms hung limply at his sides, "Somewhere where my home is whole and nobody suffers from the war."

"You know the war saved many?" Elrohir questioned. 

"You mean, Gondor?" Legolas specified. 

"Not just Gondor. And what is that supposed to mean?"

"The rest of Middle-earth suffered so that Gondor might be saved of the fate of sitting at the gateway of Mordor," Legolas elaborated. 

"All of Middle-earth united to destroy the remaining evil in this land!" Elrohir exclaimed. 

"Yes," Legolas replied wryly, "All of Middle-earth, except Rivendell."

Elrohir looked aghast at Legolas's jab. Elladan materialized out of nowhere and stood beside his brother. 

"It is because we were not attacked!" Elladan defended. 

"You're welcome!" Legolas retorted. 

"Legolas!" Tauriel exclaimed. 

Legolas turned to her to see an expression of bewilderment written on her face. Legolas hung his head. 

"Forgive me!" He pleaded, "I have no right to say such things about you. I do not know what has come over me, but I will not try to excuse my behavior. I am sorry."

After a moment of silence, after the words sunk in, Elrohir spoke, "We are worried about you."

"Do not worry about me. I am sorry to be such a terrible host, but I feel I should return to my quarters. Tauriel will see to you," Legolas nodded farewell to the twins, then turned to Tauriel who gave him an assuring nod. 

Legolas went to his bedroom. He shut the door, and with his back pressed against it, slid to the floor. He rested his elbows against his knees and held his head in his hands. What was wrong with him? What made him lash out against his friends so? He tried acting normal but he kept failing. Legolas slammed his fists against the door with frustration. He kept failing!


	6. Chapter 6

The azure waves crashed gently against the ship. He stood at the prow as the saltwater sprayed him and the sun bathed him in its golden rays. He closed his eyes and could hear the water rushing. He could hear the cry of the gulls, always identical to when they had called out on the Anduin. 

His senses alerted him to danger. A strange wind fell over the sea. A ominous scent filled the air. He opened his eyes to black clouds filled the darkened skies, and menacing waves attacked the ship. He heard cries of fear. He turned around to see Elladan and Elrohir were on the ship too. As was Arwen and - Legolas took a moment - and Aragorn. Sheets of rain poured down against the deck. The waves assailed the ship, sending it teetering to one side. Everybody crashed to one side, then the ship lurched the other way. Legolas clawed for something to hold onto as he slid down the deck. A hand grabbed on to his arm. Legolas looked to the side to see it was Aragorn who grasped onto his arm. An uncharacteristic look of fear filled Aragorn's steel grey eyes.   
The ship rocked again, breaking their hold of each other. As he tumbled, Legolas saw Arwen grab onto Aragorn. Elladan and Elrohir were clutching onto the railing of the ship, about to plunge into the rushing water. They called out to him. Legolas looked over his shoulder to ensure Aragorn was safe. He then tried to reach the twins but they fell into the sea. Legolas gazed into the dark and terrible water. A giant wave crashed onto the deck. The ship began to split. Legolas looked for Aragorn. Then the ship went under, with him on it. 

 

Legolas snapped awake, banging his head against wood. He was still sitting on the floor in front of his door. These fitful nights did more harm than good, for they left him feeling drained and depressed. 

The next few days Legolas snuck about the Kingdom, trying his best to avoid Elladan and Elrohir. Whenever he crossed paths with them he was polite, but he kept conversation to a minimum. Tauriel was always leading the twins around, and Legolas observed that she was rejecting Elladan's advanced.   
Legolas was relieved that their stay was short, and they were soon out of the Kingdom. Not that anything really changed for him since they left. Except he did go out to the forest more after their departure. 

He sat in the arms of a large tree, watching a bright yellow bird sing from another tree. He remembered when this would be so blissful for him. When he could sit like this all day. But now, he was not happy here. He felt that there was no corner of Middle-earth he could go and feel at home. But he had not seen to the edges of Middle-earth. During the War, he had promised Gimli to travel with him. He contemplated following up, as he believed it would have a good effect on him. But what would his father think? Legolas brushed that question away. He did not care what his father thought of Gimli. Thinking of his father, Legolas realized he should always act on his best behavior lest Thranduil notice something wrong and feel obligated to stay in Middle-earth longer than desired. Legolas in no way wished to rid of his father, but he hated being the cause of inconvenience.  
He hated being a bother to everybody. He wished that they could all leave him alone a stop worrying about him. Everybody. He just wished there was a way that he could vanish without them worrying. 

He knew one way.


	7. Chapter 7

Legolas mounted his horse and trotted out into the forest. He had minimal provisions with him; weapons, a cloak, and some water. Once he was a bit out from the Kingdom, he pushed Arod into a run.   
He had told his father and Tauriel where he was going so they should not worry about him. Several days earlier he had had sent a letter out to Gimli, telling him to meet him at Edoras so they could begin their trip together. 

Legolas found his mind wandering way to much on this trip. The paths he tread held memories of Aragorn as they and Gimli had made their way across the plains of Rohan. He tried to take alternate routes, but he found he preferred the memories to the other things his mind conjured.   
He forced himself to think of Gimli, and what their journey would bring. He found himself composing countless scenarios where they were held friendly banter over various minor disagreements. He smiled to himself, glad he had Gimli. 

He arrived at Edoras, and was greeted warmly by the guards and lead to Éomer, who was now King. 

"King Éomer!" Legolas greeted with a slight mischievous smile on his lips. 

Éomer rolled his eyes, "Enough of that! We are comrades! Unless you want me to start calling you King as well?"

"I'm not King," Legolas reminded. 

"Exactly!" Éomer enveloped Legolas in a large, friendly hug.   
"It is joyous to see you! What brings you here?"

"Gimli is meeting me here and then we are going to visit Fangorn and the Glitter Caves," Legolas explained. 

"Ah! That sounds most enjoyable. It is regrettable that I cannot abandon my post so I could accompany you! But then again I would not want to intrude..." Éomer trailed off before he inquired, "Would you like something to eat?"

Éomer spoiled Legolas during his stay, constantly asking if he needed anything, and providing exuberant food options. Legolas supposed he was bored since Éowyn was in Gondor, and his duties were light. Éomer smothered him so much that he did not even think about Aragorn.  
Éomer seemed quite restless, So Legolas suggested that the go riding on their horses, so they did that a few times during their wait for Gimli.   
When he finally did arrive, Éomer insured there was plenty of food. When the left after a couple more days Éomer made sure they had plenty of supplies. 

 

"Shall we go to Fangorn first, or the Glittering Caves?" Legolas inquired as they rode. 

"The Glittering Caves! You shall find no place on Middle-earth beautiful after viewing this place!"

'I already find no place on Middle-earth beautiful,' Legolas thought to himself. 

Gimli sat behind him on Arod, and he could feel Legolas' posture weaken. 

"What's wrong laddie?" Gimli inquired. 

"Nothing," Legolas replied. 

"We've got a very long trip ahead of us, you'd best start being honest with me."

Legolas smiled to himself, 'Leave it to Gimli.'  
He sighed, "It is many things, yet I am unsure what. I am fine, I assure you."

Gimli seemed satisfied for now, but Legolas knew he would not let it drop. 

 

They camped for the night and Legolas built a campfire, and Gimli prepared food.   
Legolas had still not eaten since that time before the Fellowship. He found that each day that past, the worse food sounded to him. 

"Laddie, you need to eat something," Gimli insisted. 

"You know me, I'm not really hungry," Legolas replied lightly. 

"You've been too long without eating," Gimli said. 

Legolas froze. 

"Éomer told me you didn't eat a thing since you arrived. And I'm sure you didn't eat anything on the way there."

"Elves to not require food as often as mortals."

Gimli rolled his eyes at the snobbish tone Legolas replied with in attempts to lighten the mood. "We'll it can't hurt you to eat!"

'It just might,' Legolas said to himself. The thought of eating something made him almost queasy. "I don't not want to take your food," Legolas replied lamely. 

"Éomer sent enough food for 3 dwarves! There is plenty for you! Eat something!" Gimli exclaimed. 

"Not right now," Legolas replied. 

Gimli frowned, "What's wrong?"

"I don't want to talk about it right now, okay?"

Gimli huffed. "Okay," He complied. 

Legolas let out a sigh of relief. He offered to take the first watch, and Gimli tried to insist that Legolas wake him after a few hours, to which Legolas replied that he did not needs sleep being an Elf, and that he had slept plenty at Edoras, which was a lie, but he had slept more than he had been recently. He also added jokingly that he did not want Gimli to be grumpy on their travels. 

Legolas sat, staring into the sky. He felt a comfortableness knowing he had a friend who cared about him so near. But still it was not enough. He still felt a cold emptiness inside, that he tried desperately to fill with the comfortableness he was feeling from Gimli, but he could not. He moved closer to Gimli to stave the loneliness. He knew he would need to tell his friend sooner or later because he was feeling isolated keeping it inside. He knew that Gimli cared about him more than any other person did. He just wished he could remember that. He was tempted to wake Gimli up just to know he was there, but he did not.   
He settled to sit out the rest of the night. He felt his mind wandering through dark corridors. He began questioning why Gimli would be friends with him. What does Gimli see in him? Gimli deserves better, Legolas decided. He deserved at better friend, one who was strong and would enjoy caves and axes and ales. One who was not an unstable grieving mess.  
He did not not notice Gimli wake up.

"Laddie?"

Legolas started slightly. "Hey Gimli."

"What's bothering you?"

Legolas sighed. This was it. This was the time, "I don't deserve you. You're such a good friend to me."

Gimli blinked in surprise. "I...I am honored. But why don't you think you 'deserve' me? I mean you deserve the best."

"If you knew me you would understand; I'm messed up."

"Why do you think that?"

"I'm weak," Legolas finally said. 

"That's not true! You killed a Mumikil! You are a skilled warrior! You almost killed as many foes as me that one battle."

Legolas let a small smile cross his lips at the last part. Then his face sobered. "Perhaps not in might, but in mind.....Gimli..." Legolas gathered his courage, "are you sure you wish to know? This is my biggest secret."

"If you wish to tell me, I will gladly help you bear your burdens. And I promise not to tell a soul."

Legolas smiled. He was lucky to have Gimli as a friend. He took a deep breath and began spilling his secret, "I'm in love with someone, who doesn't love, me and I'm not handling it well..."

"Who is it? Who is this lass? I'll knock some sense into her!" Gimli declared. 

Legolas frowned. He feared Gimli's reaction when he told him that it was not a lass, but a man. He feared he would lose Gimli. He knew he could not live if Gimli abandoned him as well. "It is not a lass."

"Oh," Was Gimli's reply. His face seemed to respond with understanding, "So it is-"

"A man," Legolas finished.


	8. Chapter 8

"Does this man know how you feel?" Gimli asked. 

Legolas let out a breath he did not know he had been holding. Gimli seemed to be accepting his sexuality. "So you do not hate me for loving a man?" 

Gimli shook his head, "Nay Legolas, nothing could make me hate you. I am however bothered at the pain this is causing you."

'We've only scratched the surface,' Legolas mused to himself. 

"So does he not know of your feelings?"

Legolas shook his head, "Nay. I cannot, for he is married to a woman he has waited many years for, and at this point I would only disgrace myself. I never could tell him. Long have I harbored these feelings, but I never confessed them for fear of losing our friendship, and I have always known our fate would not be together. But the finality of it has struck me hard."

"Who is he?" Gimli asked. 

"You know him," Legolas replied. 

"I know a great many people. I do not presume to know your type, so why don't you just tell me?"

Legolas was finding it so very difficult to say that one person's name. To say the name of his love. To say Aragorn. "It is...he..." Legolas faltered. He struggled to find the words. 

Realization hit Gimli, "Is it Aragorn?"

Legolas smiled sadly, "Aye, it is Aragorn that I love."

"Laddie, I'm terribly sorry," Gimli consoled. "I know he cares a great deal about you. Are you sure..."

"Not in that way. Besides he is already happily married, I'm sure never even thinking about me..." Legolas mused. 

"Now that's not true. He cares about you Legolas! When I was staying there he wondered often how you were doing, if you had made it home okay, things like that!"

"I'm not sure that is helping things," Legolas said. It was easier to deal with his grief if he believed that Aragorn did not like him at all. It made it easier for him to disappear. "And the truth is, I am dealing horribly with my grief. I can't feel love from anyone. I don't feel at home in Middle -earth anymore, yet I do not want to leave. My sleep is plagued by queer dreams. I can find no rest. There is no war to fight, no enemy to slay...nothing to distract me."

Gimli patted Legolas' leg. "We have a long journey ahead of us, hopefully it can offer some distraction for you. I am here for you laddie, no matter what you need, I am here," Gimli promised. 

Legolas smiled, "Thank you Gimli, for everything." Legolas found that he felt much better after sharing his plight with Gimli. His heart did not ache as much as before, and he felt less empty. Perhaps he could get through this. 

 

They travelled to the Glittering Caves, where Legolas was awed my the magnificence, and had to admit so to his friend. They then went to Fangorn, which they had been to before, but they were able to take a longer, more leisurely tour. Gimli was still less then enthused about the trees, but Legolas was sure he was just refusing to admit that he held a certain wonder about them. Legolas was finally through with visiting Fangorn, and Gimli suggested they go to the Shire.  
Legolas was having an enjoyable time with Gimli. He enjoyed his company, and their playful banter. He rarely mused on Aragorn except at night. He hardly slept, and he still had not eaten, although he pretended to, to keep Gimli from worrying.   
When they arrived in the Shire, Merry and Pippin excitedly greeted them, and escorted them to Bag End where Frodo, Sam and his wife Rosie were staying. 

"Well I'll be! If it isn't Mister Gimli and Mister Legolas!" Sam greeted after Legolas had ducked through the short doorway after Merry, Pippin, and Gimli. 

Sam proudly introduced his wife to Legolas and Gimli, and then they all set about to prepare special food, because they could resist the chance to celebrate. Legolas and Gimli briefly greeted Frodo, but the Ringbearer was quiet, and mostly kept to himself. 

Merry and Pippin were a chatter about the things going on in the Shire, and then they inquired about Legolas and Gimli, which got Gimli started on his lengthy tale of their travels. Legolas sat, contently listening to them talking, finding himself feeding of the cheer of his friends.  
They stayed several nights at Bag-End, because Frodo and Sam insisted it was no bother, and Sam added that he 'quite enjoyed having them here'.

There was one occasion, that Merry, Pippin, Sam, and Gimli left for some delicious food to feast on, leaving Legolas and Frodo alone. 

"You're a hero. Middle-earth owes you their debt. What you did was very brave and valiant, and I can see that you still suffer from it," Legolas said to him. 

"Thank you. It is more than just that that weighs on my heart," Frodo replied, "I can see that you suffer as well."

"It is just from the journey," Legolas replied. 

Frodo shook his head, "You know it's not that. Something ails you, and it is not physical malady."

Legolas frowned. 

Frodo chuckled slightly, "I don't not expect you to confess, but just admit it to yourself. And I know you have not eaten anything since your arrival."

"I'm not hungry," Legolas replied automatically. 

"You have been saying that for far to long. Don't let yourself suffer like this. What drives you to starve yourself?" Frodo asked. 

Legolas felt inexplicably connected to Frodo in this moment. And he knew how much better he had felt after sharing with Gimli, and doing that had made him more open. "A broken heart," he confessed.

Frodo nodded sadly, "I am living every day, sharing a house with the one that I love. But I am grateful, more than anything that I get to spend so much time with him. And I am grateful that he his happy with his wife."

"Sam? You love Sam?" Legolas stammered. He could not believe he had found someone so similar to himself. 

"Yes. I did not realize it until he had traveled to the depths of Mordor with me, and when the burden of the Ring was lifted from me. But he has always loved Rosie, and I am just happy that he's happy," Frodo said with a melancholy acceptance. 

Legolas envied him of his acceptance. Legolas had the nerve to suggest to himself that Frodo did not love Sam as much as Legolas loved Aragorn, then he berated himself, telling himself that Frodo was just more mature than him, to not let something as trivial as a broken heart ruin his life. 

"I know broken hearts are dangerous among Elves," Frodo said.

Legolas nodded. "I too love a man who is happily married to a woman," Legolas admitted. 

"Do yourself a favor and let him go," Frodo advised. "You'll thank yourself later."

Legolas did not think he could ever let Aragorn go.


	9. Chapter 9

Legolas was saddened when his and Gimli's trip came to an end.  
He returned to his home, where Tauriel was glad he was back, and Thranduil seemed relieved by his return. Thranduil had worked hard on getting the forest restored, and Legolas could tell it did much to boost his mood compared to the way it was before he left. Still he was feeling depressed. He was convinced it was the forest, or perhaps that he was living in a cave. But then he wondered to himself if it was because he did not have Gimli or some other friend to talk to. He figured he could tell Tauriel, but he did not want to burden her, nor risk her judging him, or her telling Thranduil. 

He paced around his room, bored, and musing. He suddenly felt lightheaded, his vision blurred and darkened. Then everything blacked out. 

~

Legolas opened his eyes and he was on his bed. He did not remember going to his bed. He tried to sit up, but his vision became spotty. 

"Legolas!" Tauriel's voice exclaimed and she appeared at his side. "What happened to you?"

"How did I get here?" Legolas asked drowsily. 

"I put you there. I came into your room and you were unconscious on the floor. What happened?" Tauriel demanded. 

"I don't...know," Legolas replied. 

"Well, you look terrible! Your eyes are hollowed and dark, and when was the last time you ate? You were far to light when I lifted you, and your bones were poking me, and I swear I could count your ribs through your shirt!" Tauriel exclaimed. 

Legolas squeezed his eyes shut. He supposed he had not tried to much to keep his suffering a secret. Now Tauriel was on to him. 

"Legolas?" She demanded. "What has happened to make you do this to yourself?"

Legolas looked over to her, "You went through a phase like this too once." When Kili had died Tauriel had forgone eating and had hardly kept herself together, but it had passed quickly. Legolas was hoping she would make the connection. 

Tauriel opened her mouth to reply, then she closed it, and a look of understanding crossed over her face. 

"You too?" She asked. 

Legolas nodded weakly. 

"Who is it Legolas?" Tauriel asked. 

"You wouldn't know him," Legolas replied. 

"Him???" Tauriel questioned. 

Legolas sighed. He should not have assumed that Tauriel would be as accepting as Gimli had been.   
"You were in love with a dwarf!" Legolas bit back. 

"Legolas, it's fine, I was just surprised....I wasn't expecting it from you," Tauriel explained. 

Legolas's face burned, "Oh, sorry..." 

Tauriel sat down on the edge of the bed. "So this person, what happened with him?"

"He has married the woman of his dreams."

"I'm so sorry Legolas," Tauriel offered. "Did he know how you feel?"

Legolas shook his head, "We were long friends, I did not want to break that."

"Who was it?" Tauriel asked. 

"Aragorn," Legolas replied. 

"You love Aragorn?" Tauriel questioned, surprised. 

"You must think me despicable," Legolas moaned. 

"No, I'm just...I am surprised...I had no idea."

"Yeah, neither did he," Legolas grumbled. 

"Legolas, you need to eat," Tauriel ordered. 

"I don't want to," Legolas replied.

"You need to get your strength up or your father is going to worry."

Legolas' eyes widened. 

"You can't hide it from him for much longer," Tauriel warned. 

"I don't have a reason to build my strength up," Legolas bemoaned. 

"Then why don't you sail?" Tauriel questioned. 

"Because..." Legolas sighed, "I don't want to leave him; he wouldn't understand. And I don't want to leave Gimli either."

"If you don't want to leave Gimli, then you need to take care of yourself. How would he feel if you were to die?" Tauriel questioned. 

Legolas realized she was right. Even if Aragorn did not care what became of him, he knew that Gimli did very much.

"You need to eat something," Tauriel ordered.

"Okay," Legolas complied. 

Tauriel smiled excitedly. "I'll be right back," she went to the door to leave. 

"Tauriel!" Legolas called. 

She stopped and turned. 

"I beg of you not to speak a word of this to my father," Legolas implored. 

"Not a word," Tauriel promised.


	10. Chapter 10

Tauriel got Legolas food and she started making him eat. After he had regained some of his strength, she gathered food and they went out into the forest and had a picnic.   
She asked Legolas about his trip with Gimli, so he recounted the tale. Once he got talking he could not stop. He started adding things that happened during his journey with the Fellowship. Then he started going off about Aragorn, things he loved, things he hated, memories, and how he missed him. Tauriel was a good listener, just sitting, nodding attentively. 

It became a routine for them, to go into the forest, have a picnic, and for Legolas to spill his feelings. After Legolas had returned to a healthy weight, Tauriel insisted he do some training. His archery was still flawless, but he had gotten a little sluggish with knives. She pushed him hard and helped him regain some of his strength and skill. Legolas found himself enjoying the days. The trees were healing as well, and were coming into bloom above the bright green lawn.   
It was night that was dangerous for Legolas. He would retreat into the dreary cave, alone, into his quarters, when the grief would hit him. How much he missed Aragorn. Sometimes he would go to the dark place of pointing out his own flaws, blaming them for why Aragorn did not love him. Then he would realize that he was a sick person for loving another male.   
Luckily sleep came easily now, and was a quick escape from his pain. He would wake up in the morning, enjoy his day out in the woods with Tauriel, the process would repeat. 

 

One day Thranduil sent for Legolas while he was out with Tauriel. 

"Yes father?" Legolas entered the throne room. 

"Legolas!" Thranduil stood up. "While I am quite pleased that you are spending time in the forest, you are needed in the kingdom. The time of the Elves is ending here. There are a few who will be staying, so I must know: are you going to stay, or sail?"

Legolas wrinkled his brow, pondering. He was not expecting this question. 

"This is not a decision to be made lightly, you may have as much time as you need," Thranduil offered. 

"No..." Legolas said distantly. "No. I think I'm going to stay." He had decided to stay, because Aragorn would not understand, and he did not want to have to explain or see him again, but most importantly, he remained for Gimli.

"While I shall miss you, I think that would be best for the kingdom. Arrangements will have to be made: you will have to become accustomed to your new duties, especially given the fact you will be short staffed. And what about Tauriel...?"

Legolas was confused, "What about Tauriel?"

"You've been spending a great deal of time with her lately. You care about her?" Thranduil asked. 

"Yes..." Legolas replied tentatively. He loved Tauriel like a sister, and also he was not sure where his father was going with this. 

"Well, it would be best if you were to find someone to marry, so you can produce an heir."

Legolas was momentarily stunned. His father was going to force him to marry? Of course he was. It had always been a thought. Thranduil had mildly considered a few options before, for political purposes, but nothing had come of it. He should have known it would happen one day. Now he would have to find some Elven maiden to wed. The problem was, that there was no Elven maiden that he loved; he loved Aragorn. 

 

He wanted to tell Tauriel the tale, but feared hurting her feelings by saying he did not love her. So instead he tried to figure out exactly how she felt about him. 

"Do you still love Kili?" Legolas asked. 

Tauriel was a little surprised, "I suppose so. I mean, I love the memory of him. And the pain of his death keeps him so near..." She sighed, "It is hard to let go of somebody you only knew good things about."

Legolas nodded. 

"It sounds so stupid," Tauriel threw her hands down. 

Legolas shook his head, "No, it's okay."

Tauriel shook her head. "Here's you, dying from 60 years of unrequited love, and I knew someone for a few days and claim to love him!"

"But there is nothing to say you might have loved him," Legolas offered. 

"Exactly!" Tauriel exclaimed. "There's nothing to say that. That's why I should have been able to let him go."

They sat for a moment of silence before Legolas said, "So, you've never felt that way about anybody else?"

Tauriel shook her head suspiciously, "No.....why are you asking? What's with the strange questions, Legolas?"

"Nothing," Legolas lied. "We always talk about me, I wanted to talk about you."

Tauriel laughed, "While the sentiment is nice, I can see that you're lying. Why are you asking me these questions?"

Legolas sighed and told his story about how Thranduil was leaving for Valinor, but first he wanted Legolas to get married. And Legolas explained that he did not love anyone, except for Tauriel, but he did not want to marry her, because it was sisterly love. 

"I feel the same way about you," Tauriel agreed. "You've always been like an older brother to me. But I don't want you to have marry someone you do not love."

"Tauriel-" Legolas started, but Tauriel lifted up her hands, stopping him. 

"We could get married. Just for show," Tauriel proposed. 

"You would...why?"

"It's not like I'm ever going to get married anyway. And I don't want you to feel forced to do anything. Everything would remain the same between us, except in everybody else's eyes."

Legolas was speechless. He did not understand why Tauriel would do something so selfless for him. Sure she had been tirelessly helping him to get better, but she was not tied to him. If she married him, she would be forever attached to his weakness, his depression, his broken heart, his inability to love her like she deserved. He realized what was unnerving about the whole situation, "You deserve so much better than to be tied up to my sick existence."

Tauriel smiled, "I already am, in heart."

"But you deserve somebody who can love you! Someone who's not to wrapped up in their own pain..." Legolas declared. 

"But that's not what I want," Tauriel replied. "I want you to be happy. I know it's not entirely possible, but I will try as hard as I can. It's the least I can do for you; you deserve so much more."


	11. Chapter 11

Nobody roamed the halls of the Woodland Realm. Tables laden with food and drink stood dormant and abandoned. Decorations hung signifying a special occasion. A cheerful air hung throughout Eryn Lasgalen. All the Elves were gathered in the throne room. At the foot of the throne Legolas and Tauriel were standing tall, facing each other. Tauriel was wearing a lightweight, elegant white dress that hit the floor. Legolas was dressed in his regal silver tunic. Both of them were wearing their hair in their respective usual styes. Thranduil came forward to perform the ceremony. Legolas repeated the words he was hearing his father say as he looked into Tauriel's green orbs. There seemed to be a sadness to them, though it seemed shallow, as though it did not permeate to her soul. He feared that she was reflecting what she saw in his eyes. This was discouraging, for he believed himself to be doing a skilled job at masking his emotions, and especially at this moment. He tried to spread his smile to his eyes, and Tauriel responded with a confused twitch with her eye as she was wording her vows. Tauriel knew his pain, Legolas knew he could not hide that from her, but he did not want to dampen this day for her. He hoped she could be happy despite him. He slid a gold ring unto her finger. Legolas felt the cold metal against his skin as Tauriel slid a ring onto his finger. It was done. They were married. He smiled for her, but he continued to see pain reflected in her eyes. He hoped desperately that it was his own pain he saw and not her own. 

"Now," Thranduil announced, "that my son is married and able to produce and heir, I will crown him King in my stead, as you know, I plan to depart for Valinor along with many of you. Any who wish to remain will be ruled well by my Legolas." Thranduil gave Legolas a confidence-boosting smile. 

Legolas did his best to give an expression the relayed the feelings he felt regarding the confidence Thranduil appeared to have in him. Thranduil regally stepped up the stairs to the throne to retrieve his crown, which he had placed there. He returned to Legolas, ceremonially placing the crown on his head. 

"You are now King, my son," Thranduil declared. 

Legolas smiled appreciatively. Tauriel, who still stood nearby, reached forward and squeezed Legolas's hand reassuringly. Legolas took a deep breath. He knew he was supposed to say something. All he could think of was Aragorn's coronation where Aragorn had broken into song. He was not going to do that! His father's looming presence stressed him. Legolas turned to face the Elves of Eryn Lasgalen. His people. 

"We have faced much change in this year. As we have seen, it is not all bad; we will grow accustomed to it," Legolas glanced to Tauriel who was smiling reassuringly at him.  
"I am lucky to be the King of such remarkable people: the best in Middle Earth." Legolas completely meant what he said, there were none other, as a collective people, that held such a place in his heart. He also knew many of them were leaving with his father -many of his longtime friends and mentors. Legolas turned to Tauriel to check how she was fairing. Despite his now melancholy mood, Legolas was glad to find the shadow was absent from Tauriel's expression.

There was a customary feast, and Legolas realized that this was the first feast or gathering they had held since before he had departed for Rivendell, preceding the quest. Not that he cared, but he was sure it was good for the others. But Legolas did not know if they feasted whilst he was away.  
He leaned over to Tauriel, "When was the last time there was a gather such as this?" 

Tauriel pursed her lips in pondering, "It was before the war, I know that much."

Legolas nodded, "As was my guess."

Legolas caught sight of his father speaking with one of his advisors. The former King appeared slightly disoriented, given his step down from power. Legolas was still wearing the crown and was seated in the middle chair Thranduil normally occupied, Tauriel at his side. Legolas rose and excused himself from Tauriel, placing the crown on her head with a sly grin. He sought out friends he knew were departing to talk to them a last time. Many of them tried to get him back to Tauriel, telling Legolas that today was for them, but he reminded them he has eternity with her. Thranduil was the most insistent when Legolas tried to talk to him.  
"Do not waste your time on me! Go spend time with your bride!"

"She is fine," Legolas gestured back to where Tauriel was in conversation. "Father, you will be leaving soon!" Legolas objected. 

Legolas spent as much final time with Thranduil, although he felt a bit awkward. 

 

In the morn Thranduil and the other Elves prepared to leave. "Would you like to have your crown? I would do better with a different crown," Legolas offered.  
Thranduil looked appalled, "You don't like my crown?!" But a quick smirk told Legolas he was jesting. Thranduil waved his hand, "But I'm sure you're not even going to wear one." Father bore into son's eyes. Legolas struggled under the glare, knowing what his father said was true. Thranduil broke it off and stepped towards his son.  
He wrapped his arms around Legolas in an embrace, "I am so proud of you. I know you will do a great job."

Legolas was touched by his father's confession of affection. 

Thranduil pulled back and held his son at arms length, "Are you sure you do not wish to come?"

Legolas shock his head, "It is not my time."

"I know the sea-"

"No." Legolas cut in. Thranduil gave an acceptant nod. Legolas caught a flash of red beside him, turning to see Tauriel. Thranduil surprised him by hugging Tauriel farewell. Legolas could hear him whisper something to her but he could not decipher it. Thranduil turned back to Legolas and grasped his forearm, "Farewell my son."

"Farewell father."

With much poise, Thranduil mounted his Elk. He gave Legolas one last look before prodding his ride forward, leading the caravan. The Elves journeyed through the half-burned remains of Mirkwood. Legolas watch them until they disappeared from sight. He returned inside and set to begin his tasks as King. He sat down at the desk in the study and pulled out a parchment and pen. He began to write:  
_Dear Gimli,_  
_How do you fare?_  
_Do you still dwell in the Glittering Caves?_ _Mirkwood was ravaged in the war. It is a depressing sight. Many of the Elves, including my father, have left for Valinor; the halls are empty. Since my father was leaving, I have been crowned King of the Elves, and I have been wedded to my longtime friend Tauriel. I would have written earlier to invite you, but it was a sudden decision. I now have many new duties and responsibilities but I know we will be able to see each other soon. I look forward to your presence_  
_Legolas,  
King of Mirkwood_

Legolas added the last part to rub his title in Gimli's face. He grinned to himself as he sealed the letter. 

 

There was little to do for hardly anyone remained, and Thranduil had done a very efficient job of running the Kingdom. Legolas informed his assistant that he would not be either his study or the throne room, then he returned to his quarters. Legolas sank into his bed exhausted, the cushy mattress and blankets entrapped him with their comfort.

 

Legolas awoke to find Tauriel lying beside him on the bed in a similar fashion: dressed entirely in her attire from the previous day, and atop all the blankets. Neither of them lay on their pillows at all. Legolas lay still until Tauriel stirred. 

"Late night partying?" Legolas questioned, teasing.

"You have no idea," Tauriel replied, teasing back. "Actually I was working out some new arrangements with the guard."

Tauriel stood up, then pulled Legolas to his feet. 

"I didn't even do that much yesterday, yet I was exhausted," He said. 

"You've been through a lot," Tauriel consoled. 

"That's no excuse!" Legolas gritted. He forcefully pulled his braids out and redid them. 

"It's not an excuse, it's the truth!" Tauriel insisted. She came up behind Legolas and place her hand on his arm, "You're not alone."

'But I am', he said to himself


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING! Self-harm/cutting

Legolas droned through his duties. He felt completely useless, and incompetent. It did not help that he knew that the Elves could govern themselves. They did not need him. Nobody needed him. Even Tauriel did not need him. He did not need himself. He did not see a purpose to it all. Legolas knew it was twisted, but he wished Eryn Lasgalen would get attacked by Orcs or giant spiders so he could fight, and feel worth. It was his status and skill as a warrior that gave him his identity, in the past and the present. He knew he had friends, a few who cared about him, but what about him did they care about? Why would anybody love him? He pressed his palms into his face. Who was Legolas?

 

Legolas made a habit of practicing at the archery range every night. It was the only time he felt any good at anything. Fueled with anger at his life, and self-hate, Legolas emptied an entire quiver of arrows, each one hitting directly in the bullseye, splitting the arrow before it. Legolas reached for his quiver and found he had used the last arrow. He flung it to the ground and stalked over to the target where he yanked out a handful of split arrows that were lodged in the target. He hurled them to the side, gathered his things, and returned inside. Who cared that he could hit the bullseye every time, from any distance, from every approach? He passed by an Elf who smiled at him and uttered a kind greeting. Legolas merely nodded in response, but as he continued, he thought on the Elf's actions. Yes he was the king now, but none ever greeted his father so warmly. It reminded him of the time before the war. People liked him back then. They loved and respected their prince. Legolas entered his room. Tauriel was there, she turned as he walked in and studied him for a moment. She crossed the room and gave him a comforting embrace. Legolas' previous revelation was what allowed him to except her affection. He needed to find the old Prince of Mirkwood within himself. 

 

One day Legolas finally received a letter from the Glittering Caves. He took it to his quarters to read. 

_Dear Legolas,_

_King Legolas is it? I must say, the title does not quite fit you, for I know you are much to wild to satisfy with sitting on a throne all day long. That being said, I'm sure you'll do a fair enough job with it, given you enforce firmly of the strength of Dwarves!_  
_And you're married too? Well, well, and to the Red-haired lass? No wonder you like her, eh?_  
_I think you didn't invite me because you did not wish for me to embarrass you in front of your father! Rest assured, now that he is gone I will come oft and embarrass you in front of your new bride, eh?_  
_Well as for me, the Glittering Caves are well. Several other Dwarves have moved with me here and I am now the Lord of the Glittering Caves. See, you're not the only one to get promoted.  
I guess we all did really: Aragorn is King, you are King, I am a Lord, did you hear Samwise is the Mayor now? __Everybody has gone and changed except Gandalf: I suppose he shall be wandering Middle-earth until it crumbles beneath his feet._

_I hope you are well, and I look forward to our next meeting._

_Sincerely,_  
_Lord of the Glittering Caves,  
Gimli son of Gloin_

Legolas clenched his jaw when he read the word "Aragorn", and the negativity remained with him through the remainder of the letter. Yes, King Aragorn, happy with his Queen.

"Legolas?" Tauriel's voice broke into his thoughts. 

"What?" He asked. 

"Is something wrong?"

Legolas started to deny it, but realized he had clenched the letter in his fist.  
He gave an unconvincing smile, "Um...nothing. I got a letter from Gimli today." He began smoothing it out. 

"I knew you two bickered, but I didn't know he made you angry," Tauriel replied with skepticism. 

"Nay, Gimli does not anger me," Legolas frowned inwardly, realizing he had no real cover story for himself.

"What then?" Tauriel questioned.  
Legolas sighed, "He made mention of Aragorn."

"Legolas...you can't let him do this to you."

"It's not *him*, it's her! It's Arwen! That spoiled, perfect, flawless, angel, brat-child of Elrond!" Legolas exclaimed venomously.

Tauriel was visibly taken aback, "Legolas, you can't hate her for this."

"I can! I do! Everybody thinks she's so perfect! Everybody thinks you should like her. Elrond completely spoils her, and she's a complete snob!" Legolas stopped for a minute and calmed down.  
"Tauriel, I'm really sorry, I don't know...I just..."

Tauriel came over and placed her hands on his shoulders, "It's okay Legolas, I understand. I'm here for you."

He leaned back against her.  
"I hate her," He whispered, as she comfortingly stroked his hair.

Legolas found it ironic how he was far older than Tauriel and always treated her as one would a younger sister: he would protect her, teach her, and tease her, and now she was acting more like an older sister to him, and even sometimes like a mother. He always felt like a child when she comforted him when he poured out his feelings of life.  
He was grateful for Tauriel, for he was sure that without her he would have either starved himself to death, or had to explain his dilemma to his father. He wished he could get by on his own, but he needed Tauriel.

 

After his day's work Legolas returned to his room. He found it was empty, with Tauriel nowhere to be found. His masked emotions began seeping out. All day he had kept a passive face and hid his feelings inside, now he let it all out. Worthlessness. Always worthlessness. 

Every night he was reminded strongly on how worthless he was. He was not needed. Tauriel would be fine without him. Gimli would survive. Aragorn...Aragorn would not even miss him. Anger overtook his mind. A fire raged toward Aragorn. Hatred, resentfulness, blaming him for his pain. 

It was his fault! But then Legolas caught himself. He loved Aragorn, did he not? How could he call this love? He was hating Aragorn with every fiber in his being, in the name of love! His behavior disgusted himself. He never truly loved Aragorn, just himself. 

Legolas was brimming with loathing and self-hatred. In a lash of building anger, he struck his hand out and slammed everything off the top of his dresser. It landed with a loud crash on the floor. How could he be so selfish? He knocked over his chair. How could he be angry at Aragorn? He threw all his papers and letters onto the floor. What was wrong with him? He hurled his bow across the room. Why would he blame Aragorn for all this? He grabbed his sheathed knives and threw them down as well. With a clatter they fell out of the sheath and the shiny metal glinted in the moonlight. Legolas came down from his fueled rampage and lifted the blade. He held it up and stared along the sharp edge. Aragorn was happy, how cruel was he to wish him ill? 

As if in a trance, he walked slowly over to the bathtub and he knelt beside it. He slowly unstrapped his arm-brace. He rolled up his sleeve.  
He knew he was a monster for hating Aragorn. He held the sharp edge of the knife against his wrist. He hated himself. He was despicable. He claimed to love Aragorn but was fuming angry at him. Legolas pressed the blade against his wrist. He winced as his skin split and blood poured out. It had hurt, but he found he enjoyed the pain. He deserved it, for his cruel heart. He watched, mesmerized, as the red fluid trailed down hand and dripped off his fingers into the tub. He did not hear the door open, nor the gasp then rushed footsteps. Suddenly hands grabbed onto his shoulders and pulled him back. His head leaned back and he saw it was Tauriel that held onto him, with a horrified look on her face. Shame filled Legolas. 

"I didn't mean to...I mean I wasn't trying to..." Legolas trailed off. 

Tauriel held his face close to her. He felt her chest heave, and he felt tears fall onto his head. Tears also fell from Legolas' eyes.

"I'm a terrible person Tauriel! How can I say that I love Aragorn when I hold so much anger towards him? Why can't I be happy for him? Why can't I just love him?"

 

The next evening Legolas traced his finger over the scar his cut had left. As he placed to offending knife in its place he remarked with self-disgust, "So this is Mirkwood's King?"  
Tauriel tried to console him. From then on Legolas never again held such strong feelings regarding Aragorn.


	13. Chapter 13

Aurêl was the life of Eryn Lasgalen. With most of the Elves gone to Valinor, and hardly any threat to the kingdom, there was little to do in the former Mirkwood. Many Elves were darkened by their long lives of trouble and the horror of war. But when Aurêl was near they could not help but smile. Ornaew, Aurêl's mentor was with her as she was outside in the forest.   
"I suppose it is good, in a way, that the trees burned. That way we can start fresh, return them to their former glory," Aurêl decided.   
"I doubt it was worth it, for the burning was a terrible event. Alas, I fear the trees will never regrow and thrive to the magnificence of the Greenwood of old," Ornaew replied.   
"It is better than spider infested spruce!" Aurêl's eyes suddenly lit up, "I have an idea: let's go to the southern border!"  
Ornaew hesitated, "I don't know how your father-"  
"It will be fine! Come on!" She interrupted, pulling him after. They ran through what remained of Mirkwood forest to the South end of the border. Once there they climbed a tree and peered out. They could see a bit of Gondor, at least to the Argonaths.   
"Have you been there?" Aurêl asked.   
"Us Mirkwood Elves have not traveled much; no. Why?" He answered.   
"I wonder what it is like. I know it suffered from the war as well."  
"If there's somewhere you want to go it would be Rivendell. The test of time has held on the ancient Elven city."  
"I'll let you convince my parents of that!" Aurêl replied.   
"Nonsense. They can't say no to you!" Ornaew argued.   
"True," Aurêl contemplated. She plucked a ripened bloom from the tree and wove it into her hair.   
"Come on, let's go back!" Aurêl exclaimed, jumping down from the tree. The two Elves raced back to the Kingdom. They reached a clearing. Aurêl ran straight into danger and she did not even know.

 

Ornaew acted fast. He sped up, kicked Aurêl down as he reached and grabbed the arrow that had been heading straight for her body. Aurêl looked up, embarrassed.   
"Well, look who's been blindly running again," Legolas chided.   
"Hi...." Aurêl tried.   
"I apologize-" Ornaew started but Legolas kindly cut him off. Ornaew returned the arrow to Legolas.   
"It would have been a perfect shot," Legolas muttered, glancing at the target positioned a considerable distance from himself.   
"Of that I have no doubt," Ornaew agreed. He wiped his hands on his tunic, "Even the shaft stings!"  
Legolas smirked slightly as he returned the arrow to his quiver. He then turned to Aurêl, "What have I said about running through the target range?"  
"I figure you should have been able to hear us given how loud we were," Aurêl jabbed.   
"You were going so fast, one could not hear until you had past!" Legolas rebutted also dishing a backhanded compliment.   
"Aurêl, you know that's practically my only rule."  
"Yes father."  
"You're lucky Ornaew was so quick."  
Ornaew winced. Being essentially the bodyguard of the crown princess of Eryn Lasgalen was quite a challenge, but the once warrior would not have it any other way.   
"Aurêl, would you like to shoot some?" Legolas offered his daughter.  
"Yes!" She replied, jumping up and taking the bow Legolas held out in his hand. Aurêl practiced for a time with Legolas, mostly enjoying the time with her father rather than the archery itself, until Legolas decided they should return indoors as it was nearing meal-time. Aurêl quickly returned to her quarters to freshen up then rushed back to the dinning hall where Legolas and Tauriel were waiting. During dinner Legolas told her, "Uncle Gimli sent you a birthday present."  
"Really? Although I'm really not surprised," Aurêl replied.   
"Yes, it is in the Throne room. You will have to show us what he sent," Legolas said.  
"Okay!" Aurêl jumped up and rushed out.   
"Gimli spoils her so!" Tauriel exclaimed.   
"Aye," Legolas agreed with a small smile, looking to the doorway Aurêl had disappeared into.


	14. Chapter 14

Legolas, Tauriel, and Aurêl gathered to discover what Gimli had sent. Gimli unfailingly gave Aurêl presents for her birthday every year. Not surprisingly, the Lord of the Glittering Caves always sent either precious jewels or rare metals for the Crown Princess. This year, the gift was an extensive expanse of emerald studded fabric. It held a luxurious heaviness to it, and had a rich, smooth texture on the underside.  
"Ai!" Legolas exclaimed upon viewing the fabric, "Gimli has outdone himself!"  
Tauriel smiled at him, "You say that every year."  
"He has truly done it this time! He is utterly spoiling Aurêl!"  
"I don't mind!" Aurêl rushed out to show off her new fabric.  
"He only does it because he has no one else to spoil," Tauriel reminded.  
"Still!" Legolas exclaimed, "He should know better!"  
"He most likely does," Tauriel pointed out with a grin. 

Aurêl returned to her parents after showing everybody her new fabric. "I want to have a dress made out of it!" Aurêl declared.  
"You could have many dresses made out of this fabric!" Tauriel exclaimed.  
Legolas scolded Gimli under his breath.  
Whereas the King and Queen always gifted Aurêl with items that would serve her well in her everyday life as an Elf of the forest and a future warrior, Gimli made certain with his gifts that she was dressed like royalty. Not even any of Legolas' pieces of attire could ever rival the gifts Gimli sent.  
"Aurêl, don't forget to write Uncle Gimli to thank him for his generosity," Legolas reminded.  
"Yes Ada."  
Legolas went to his study to write his own letter to Gimli:  
_Dear Gimli,_  
_Today we received the gift you sent for Aurêl. You really must stop spoiling her so! I cannot imagine what it is doing to your wealth! The dwarvish economy is unstable enough as it is without lords throwing it all away! Seriously though, it is unnecessary to gift such lavish items to a child. She is just a child, yet she has grown so much since the last time you saw her. I would very much like to see you again, and I know Tauriel and Aurêl would too! Perhaps you could stay longer this time. Of course, there is no pressure to visit. You are always welcome._  
_How goes the glittering caves? Have you yet come to your senses after living in such a horrid hole, that the wonders of nature far outdo the stone structures you strange people chose to inhabit._  
_Have you found a dwarven woman who will spend her life with the likes of you? If you need any help wooing her I can give you some advice._  
_Do you have any news of the nearby lands or that of your own? If you intend to visit soon I will look forward to you telling me in person._  
_There is nothing new to tell of here, short of the adventure that is living with Aurêl. There is so much I could write, but I know neither where to start or where to finish._  
_I miss you Gimli, I hope to see you soon._  
_Legolas_

 

Legolas joined Tauriel and Aurêl outside. Aurêl held a small bow and stood not too far away from a target, with her bow drawn back.  
"Pull your elbow up more," Legolas advised as he walked up.  
Aurêl turned and smiled, "Thanks, Ada!"  
Legolas could not have stopped the smile that spread across his face if he had tried. Aurêl was everything to him. She was his life. He had hit a low after the war. He felt useless. His life held no purpose, although his father had made him King. That was it though, Aragorn was King now. Legolas knew the moment Aragron was crowned he had lost his friend to the duties of state. Gone were the times of old, and anything more that could have been. He was hurt that Aragorn had no idea how he felt about him. He kicked himself for being so selfish. He had made his peace with Aragorn's choice and happiness long ago. He still felt resentful towards Aragorn about it, but he no longer faulted Aragorn for what he had done.


End file.
